Oxhorn’s Blizzcon 2007 Adventure

I never went to the first Blizzcon. I wanted to, but I was a student at the time, and there was really no way for me to sneak away for a couple of days. But when Blizzard announced that they were holding Blizzcon 2007, I knew I had to go. There were a number of reasons—it sounded fun, and I have a genuine interest in Blizzard games—but the primary reason I went was because I was ordered to. Yes, ordered, by every other person on YouTube and WarCraftMovies who, the day Blizzcon was announced, came online and messaged me incessantly saying, “You’re going to Blizzcon, right?”, “Will I see you at Blizzcon?” and “You’d better go to Blizzcon Oxhorn!” So fine! I went! And I had a blast.

Blizzard contacted me along with a number of other WoW machinimators and asked us to man a booth during Blizzcon where we would be available to answer questions about machinima and distribute swag, if we wanted. So I printed off some business cards on my printer and made copies of a few of my guides on this blog. I bought a new hat and a new pair of suspenders just for the occasion. I also went onto Cafepress and made up some nice white shirts that said “Oxhorn” on them. Most people probably missed it because my suspenders got in the way, but on the back of my shirt it said, “But that blit chakked my flak in the wolsh with his flak!”

I was all outfitted for the occasion. I woke up early Friday morning, made my way to the airport, and drew some very strange looks, especially when I had to take my suspenders off to go through the metal detectors. But I arrived safe and sound (if a little sleepy, having slept only two hours that night), took a cab to my hotel, and walked across the street to the Anaheim Convention Center.

Blizzcon was already in full force, and it was fun seeing everyone dressed up for the occasion. Paladins, undead, orcs, *cough* elves… they were all there, and made me look half normal. There was a mix up with my pass, but the fine fellows at the booth tracked down Ezra for me, and eventually I was given my machinima booth badge and got to meet everyone.

Tristan came by and did an interview with me outside, as he did with all the other fellows from the machinima booth. Clint & co. from Myndflame found me and it was great to finally meet everyone in person. They had cameras and microphones and a crazy blonde wearing elf ears who had a strange fascination with my poor hat (Shiro from the Myndflame forums and Clint’s cousin) and they had a casual interview with me for a while. With all the footage they took during Blizzcon, I’d hate to be the fellow editing it!

There was an opening ceremony by Mark, the president of Blizzard, where they welcomed everyone, officially announced the upcoming Starcraft II and the upcoming World of Warcraft expansion, Wrath of the Lich King. Then everyone just wandered around doing all the things there were to do. There was a station set aside for people to play the WoW card game, there were Starcraft, Warcraft III and WoW gaming tournaments, there was a jousting arena for people to hit each other in the face with soft bats, and there was a rideable, bucking animal from the game that people could get thrown off of. There was a booth with artists who had made artwork for the game, the box, and guides, there was a developer’s corner, two Blizzcon stores, two areas with food, treats and booze, and a myriad of booths by sponsors like Dell to showcase their computers and new programs. But best of all, there was a machinima booth.

There was a big banner over the machinima booth that had characters from many of the machinimator’s movies. Ox was in there pointing, which was pretty cool. They had a big TV that looped our movies over and over again, and though we were off in a far darkened corner, we still received a lot of traffic. We each had an hour to sit and talk with people who came by, and it was a total blast.

My turn came Saturday between 2 and 3 o’clock. I put out my business cards and guides, and sat there playing my tin-whistle between talking with fans and those who were curious. I signed autographs, took pictures and generally had a great time. I printed off 30 cards and 15 copies of two different guides, and by the end of the day Saturday, they were all gone. Tristan came by again, this time in a murloc suit, and did another quick interview, which I think went better than the first one. And just like in New York, he had a strange fascination with my suspenders. What is it with my suspenders? Are they really that odd? I mean, they hold up pants. And look totally snazzy. I’m telling you, derbies and suspenders are the height of fashion. You can quote me on that.

Now, there was very little information about the machinima contest at Blizzcon. They handed out an itinerary of the events and the machinima contest wasn’t even mentioned. At the end of the day Friday, they had the dance contest, the costume contest, and the voice-imitation contest (which were all hilarious, by the way). They snuck in the machinima contest somewhere in between, and they played the first place winners in Comedy, Action / Adventure and Drama.

My entry, Associate Professor Evil Kills All Gold Farmers, won second place in the Action / Adventure category, so therefore it didn’t play. It was disappointing that my movie wasn’t played in front of a live audience, but the fact that I won second place wasn’t. I mean, come on. That’s second place. At Blizzcon! Plus, Snacky’s Journal Episode 3 won first place in the Action / Adventure category, and it totally rocked! It certainly deserved to win first place, and not only that, the grand prize, as it did. Plus, Jun was so humble about it afterwards. Really, I don’t think it had sunk in yet when I talked to her about it (we were all a little sleep-deprived that day) and so the thrill of it should be hitting her full force right about now, hehe.

Anyhow, there was a comic there. Jay Mohr, who used to be on Saturday Night Live, had the audience in stitches. He was a little crass at times, but he tried so very hard to be good, and he was genuinely funny. You could tell he was enjoying himself, and when the comic enjoys himself, the audience enjoys themselves.

After the contests were all over, all the machinima people met up at the bar in the Hilton right across the way to schmooze. Poae (Public Relations... Liaison?) had a few bloody maries, and then a cocktail. And I got to chat with the ladies from Myndflame, both of whom were charming (and—alas!— spoken for). We stayed up until last call, then Ezra, Skotie and I went to IHOP to fill the cavernous void within. By the time we were done, I had had two hours of sleep in a 48 hour period, and I needed to hit the sack. Which I did. Hard.

I was going to get up early on Saturday morning so that I could hear more about the possible Warcraft movie in partnership with Legendary Pictures, but when my alarm went off I rolled over and shut it off. Luckily, I woke up at around 1:00, an hour before I was supposed to be at the booth, so I quickly got ready and raced over just in time to set out my swag and man the booth. Afterwards, the rest of the day was nice and easy, and I spent most of it walking around shaking hands, taking pictures, and watching the competition between two South Korean guys who were playing in the Starcraft tournament. A rather self-confident/haughty fellow named Savior won, but he fought for that win.

When evening again rolled around, people started to line up for the concert. The hall in which we were lined was not large enough to accommodate a linear line, and so people were coiled around in a big circle, and it was impossible to tell where the line began and where it ended. This conundrum was solved, however, when the door to the arena opened and everyone just left the line and raced for the door.

Now, I had this pass that Blizzard provided for me that said ATTENDEE on it. Unbeknownst to me before I arrived, Clint from Myndflame had reserved a pass for me that said PRESS on it. I had both with me when I entered the arena, and one fellow took me aside and said, “Hey! You’re press! You don’t have to sit way back there. Come sit in the front!” And so I did. I had a really nice seat, and actually, most of the seats around me were vacant the entire concert, so I’m not sure why they had segregated seating to begin with. But Ah well. Before the concert started, a fellow and his son sat behind me and recognized my voice, so I was able to chat with them for a good while. They were nice guys.

Then the concert started and Level 70 Elite Tauren Chieftain, the band, took the stage. They were comprised of Blizzard staff, including the president, and they started screeching and howling in a metal sort of manner that made me wonder whether their vocal chords would survive the night, or would end up in a bloody, pulpy mess. It was fantastic. They, of course, sang WoW inspired songs from the Horde perspective, and totally ragged on the Alliance the entire time, which was music to my ears. If ever I get the chance to show a wall in Oxhorn’s bedroom in one of my movies, a Level 70 Elite Tauren Chieftain poster is going up.

After the throat-thrashing and eardrum-bursting, an orchestra took the stage. They played orchestrated music from all of Blizzard’s games, even Diablo, which was a particular highlight for me. Then a rather Celtic troupe took the stage alongside them and played all the various music found within inns scattered around Azeroth, and that was a definite highlight. There was even a moment when our true geekdom showed itself, and instead of lighters, we all took out our cell phones, iPods and blackberries and lit up their screens, swaying them back and forth. That was a real face-palmer right there, but it was still funny (and a surprising amount of light was generated too). The concert ended and we all filed out.

The machinima folks met up again at the bar, but before I could get a drink, Ezra took me aside. He was filming some short funny little clips that were going to play on Xfire, and he needed me to play a part. His hotel room was “Blizzcon”, Terran’s mom was at a computer playing the WoW expansion (which was actually spider solitaire) and Ezra was found with Diablo—in the bathroom. I was playing with Popsicle sticks and cardboard stars. You know. Starcraft.

After that bit of silliness, we went to the fifth floor and everyone stayed up until far past our bedtimes talking. Clint kept getting calls from his Myndflame troupe, asking him to join them, but instead he convinced them to change out of their jammies and join us. Poae sang a soft song, Gedan from WCM sang a Swedish song (Carmella, was it?) I played my tin-whistle and tried a meager attempt to sing the first few lines of Helån Gar (a Swedish drinking song) which went pretty much like this: “Helån Gar! …bum-budda-bum-budda-bum, bum bum… Helån Gar! Um… bum-budda-bum, budda-bum!”

I had a lovely conversation with Joanna from Blizzard about Warcraft lore. She was wearing a Dead Worker’s Party shirt, and it was then that I became convinced that I HAD to make up some Oxhorn Brand Movies shirts and give them to ladies to wear. Come to find out, she loved Warcraft lore just as much as (if not more than) I do. But she also had a sparkly rock on her finger. Bah!

Our fun came to an end when a bunch of drunken idiots at the tables next to us started breaking glass bottles, and the security guards arrived and told us to make our way to the lobby. It was at least 4:00 AM by then, so we hadn’t wasted much of the night/morning, and so I shook hands, gave hugs and went back to my hotel.

A funny thing happens when you stay out all night. You sleep, and sleep long. Ok, so I guess that isn’t a funny thing at all, but a rather natural thing. Regardless, I slept, and I slept long. My flight was leaving at 3:20, but noon came and I was still asleep. 1:00 came, and I was still sawing logs. Finally, 1:30 arrived and I opened my bleary eyes, smiling happily because I had just had a dream about turtles and giant crabs joining forces to rid the world ninja-looters. My grin, however, was stricken from my face when I looked at the clock and saw that it was 1:45.

I threw on my clothes, packed up my bag and raced down to the lobby. I figured I would quickly check out, hop on a shuttle and zip on over to the airport, but that was not my luck. Apparently, the desk clerk had her records wrong. They showed that I had paid with cash, and that they owed me over $100. No, I said, I paid with my card, and the hotel didn’t owe me anything. We bickered back and forth until I was getting to the point where I was tempted to say, “Fine! You’re right! Now please give me my $100.” But then the desk clerk realized her mistake, gave me my receipt, and I raced out the door.

I missed the shuttle. So I called a cab, and forked over $40 just for a ride to the bloitting airport. ARG. I quickly checked in and raced to my terminal, only to discover that my flight had been delayed by thirty minutes, so I was not late at all. I was both simultaneously relieved and annoyed. So I had some lunch, read some Douglas Adams, and finished the book on the flight home.

Upon returning to Seattle, I immediately got to work preparing my new movie for release, as I had promised everyone in California that I would. The process took much longer than I had originally hoped, and it was 5:00 AM before I had it uploaded to all the sites I upload to, and my webpage updated. That gave me two hours of sleep before work. Ah well, at least I released the movie on time.

So that was my Blizzcon adventure. It was a smashing success, in my opinion, and I look forward to the next one. I hope they do a bit more promotion of the Machinima booth and contest next time, and maybe have some sort of station set up so that people can view all the contest winners and nominees, but I can’t complain one bit, really, for everything went so well. Now I get to spend my days going to work, coming home and working on Inventing Swear Words 3 until the thing is finished. Ah, farewell youth!